How to Hang Out with Your Homeschool Friends in a Socially Distanced World

With Covid spiking and the usual back-to-school sniffles, this fall might start to feel like a tough season for homeschool get-togethers. If you want to keep your homeschool groups healthy, you don’t have to go no-contact, but you do have to be smart about how you socialize.

“In some ways, it’s harder for people to navigate socializing now than it was when the pandemic first started,” says Andrea Chronis-Tuscano, a clinical psychology professor at the University of Maryland who specializes in parenting and parent mental health. “The rules were clear.” But now that hanging out is back on the table, it’s hard to navigate: How can you stay safe? What does it mean to be a good host now? What does it mean to be a good guest? How do you say no when you’re uncomfortable with the way a social situation is going?

The good news is that we’re all figuring this out together, says Chronis-Tuscano. “No one has a rule book with all the answers, and everybody’s answers look a little different.”

We all know the basic rules: Wear masks, maintain six feet of distance, don’t share food and drinks, stick to small groups, stay outside, and wash your hands frequently. But how does that play out on a homeschool play date or at an in-person co-op class? Here are some things to keep in mind.

Respect the strictest rules.

People may not always want to disclose why they’re being extra-cautious, but the why doesn’t really matter — if you’re hanging out with friends, you want your friends to be comfortable. This is why it’s important to spell out the safety guidelines you have in mind for a get-together when you’re issuing invites. You don’t have to change your plans to accommodate someone else (you’d love to hang outside, but your allergies are killing you this fall), but you may find that there’s an easy fix (sure, you can bring your own food instead of ordering something with the rest of us).

Follow your own rules.

If you issue an invitation for an outdoor gathering, resist the urge to move the action inside. If you’ve promised social distancing, don’t send the kids on the trampoline together. No one wants to be the killjoy who has to keep reminding everyone else to follow the rules, so don’t put your guests in that unpleasant position. If you’re the unfortunate person in the killjoy position, you may find it easier to make an excuse and leave than to try to persuade people to follow the rules. (Even though they made them. And you’re not being a killjoy!)

Set up in advance.

Make your hangout area social distance friendly by setting chairs six feet apart and removing extra seating. If you’re a throwing an art party, have everyone’s station set up before they arrive — if you’re having a snack together, set up the tables and chairs in advance with space between them.

Stick with your comfort zone.

It’s fine if you’re more relaxed than your pals, or if you’re sticking to a stricter quarantine plan than they are. Everybody has to make these decisions for her family individually. It’s OK to say no to get-togethers that make you uncomfortable. We’re all looking forward to the day when we can hug our friends and share a bag of pretzels at the park, but until that day comes, we’re all doing the best we can.