Homeschooling Isn’t Just for the Kids

5 surprising ways to build a homeschool life that works for your whole family — including you.

“If your homeschool isn’t giving you personal satisfaction most of the time, something needs to change,” says life coach and homeschool consultant Gillian O’Keefe. 

O’Keefe says it’s easy to fall into a rut of thinking “this is just the way things are,” but very few homeschoolers are in a position where they’re helpless to the daily grind. “Homeschooling isn’t a punch-the-clock job — it’s a job that you make up each and every day as you go. So if something’s not working for you about your homeschool, all you have to do is change what you’re doing. You just have to know where to start.”

We bet you’ll find the inspiration you need to look at your homeschool life in a new way in these stories from real homeschool moms who took big, bold measures to get past a homeschool hump, from quitting homeschooling to keeping homeschool going after their kids opted back into traditional school. Whether your homeschool could use a little injection of energy or a big makeover, use the big perspective shifts in these stories to inspire your happiest homeschool year yet.

“I took a sabbatical.”

I homeschooled my oldest straight through high school, but by the time he graduated, I was genuinely burned out — even though I had an 11-year-old and a 13-year-old still learning at home. I tried to get motivated about another year of homeschooling, but that whole summer, as my oldest was getting ready to go to college, I kept thinking, “I just want a break.” And not surprisingly, when the school year started back up, everything felt so ridiculously hard.

My husband works in academia, so I am familiar with the idea of a sabbatical — a planned break from your everyday responsibilities that gives professors a little space to do their own work. And I thought, “I need a sabbatical!” So I took one.

I didn’t move to Tibet. I was still at home, doing laundry and cooking dinner and even going over tricky math problems. But we switched all the boys’ school work to things they could do 90-percent independently. They took online classes and a couple of local classes, and I was just there for support, like a regular mom with kids in regular school. I took a landscape painting class and beginning French at community college, read a big stack of books, none of which talked about homeschooling, and genuinely enjoyed spending time with my family again. At first, I wasn’t sure if I would ever want to go back to homeschooling, but by the next spring, I was eyeing new curriculums with a twinkle in my eye. I didn’t hate homeschooling. I just needed a break. And, three years later, I’m still running on the energy that sabbatical gave me.

—Allison 

“I started a homeschool group.”

I liked homeschooling from the very first day, but finding a homeschool group made me feel like Goldilocks: This one was too big, that one was too strict, the other one was too unreliable. I worried and worried about socialization and never having friends for way too long before I realized that I could start a group myself.

This was about 10 years ago, when my girls were 6 and 9 years old. I started by asking a couple of families I’d met through other groups if they would be interested in getting together for a regular park day. (I didn’t want to be a jerk, so I made sure to pick a day that didn’t conflict with another group’s regular park day. I was really nervous about making other groups mad, but it turned out that no one but me really cared.) The park days got pretty popular, and another mom suggested we buy group tickets for The Nutcracker. Soon, we were doing field trips regularly, and a couple of years later, we’d started a co-op. 

Both of my kids are done homeschooling now— my oldest is in college and my youngest decided she wanted to go to a private high school with some of her friends — but that homeschool group is still going strong. For me, it became a really important homeschool lesson: You may not find what you’re looking for on the rack, so to speak. Sometimes, to get what you want, you have to make what you want.

—Carolyn 

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“I stopped teaching math.”

Almost from the first day we started homeschooling, my daughter Alana and I were fighting over math. Every single math lesson seemed to end with one of us in tears. I had nightmares about math. Alana would yell at me that she was stupid, that she hated math. Sometimes she would yell that she hated me. This was so, so, so not what I envisioned when we started homeschooling.

I was talking to my friend, who is a high school English teacher, about how hard math was for us, and she laughed and said, “That’s why I don’t teach math!” She was just kidding, but it made me think. I hated math. I’d never been good at it in school, and it brought up all kinds of stress and insecurity from me. It was so obvious I was passing that on to Alana. And there was no good reason for it. I didn’t have to teach her math.

And I stopped, that day. I bought Teaching Textbooks, which has DVDs with instructions, for that first year, and the next year and every year after that, I signed her up for homeschool math classes at a hybrid school. She’s a junior this year taking trigonometry. Next year, she’s going to take calculus. She genuinely likes math, and, as it turns out, she’s actually pretty good at it.

Outsourcing a subject so completely wasn’t how I envisioned our homeschool. But it was the best thing for both of us, and quitting math has opened up the space for us to have a happy homeschool and a happy relationship, two things I’m really proud of. 

—Julia 

“I got rid of our school room.”

When we first started homeschooling, I was very excited to turn our dining room into a school room. I bought a big map and a bunch of Ikea bookcases and thought it was the greatest thing ever. I was so proud of that room. It was like having it proved that we were “real homeschoolers.”

But the “school room,” as I liked to call it, soon became one big messy space. However much I cleaned it up, it always felt messy and cluttered. No one wanted to spend time there. The kids did their work at the kitchen table or on the living room floor or on the patio. The school room just sat there gathering dust.

Last Thanksgiving, a bunch of out-of-town relatives decided to visit us. In order to have enough chairs for everyone, we had to move our old dining room table out of the garage and back into the dining room, and I had to pack up all the books and manipulative and science equipment and move it to the garage. A couple of times, one of the kids would say, “Hey, where’s the microscope?” and go find it in its plastic bin. But most of the stuff, nobody missed. Nobody was looking for it. Nobody wanted it. 

We started eating at the dining room table again. The kids do their work there sometimes. My partner and I have our morning coffee there. Having a school room is never what made us real homeschoolers. Now our whole house is the school room, the whole world is our school. 

—Gwen

“I kept homeschooling after my kids quit.”

Homeschooling was one of my favorite things I ever did, so when both my kids decided they wanted to go to our public school when they started middle school, I was pretty disappointed. I liked seeing them happy, and there was no question that they were where they wanted to be. But I missed homeschooling.

I looked for a job, but my resume had a huge gap and I didn’t have particularly great experience in anything. I couldn’t even get an interview for a cashier job at a craft store. We’d gotten used to living on one income, the kids still needed a ride to soccer and karate, and I still did the shopping and cooking and housework-type stuff, but I was bored out of my mind.

Then one day, when I was sitting home watching the clock for school pick-up time, I thought, well, maybe I’ll try to do that geometry program we didn’t get to use. Learning new things with the kids was my favorite part of homeschooling, and it turned out I liked learning things on my own, too. I learned geometry and algebra, Revolutionary War history, all about the Stuart kings of England, The Great Gatsby, all kinds of things. I pretty much homeschooled myself, and I ended up going back to college at 47 to study environmental science.

—Christine 

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