12 Life Mantras Every Homeschool Mom Should Know

Believe it or not, a well-chosen mantra can help you turn around a bad day—or at least your perception of it. And while it’s not a cure-all for challenges in your homeschool, a mantra can be just the perspective shift you need when your homeschool hits a bumpy patch.

Okay, science suggests that we may have overestimated the whole “power of positive thinking” thing. But that doesn’t mean a good mantra can’t help you over a tough spot. The trick, says Joanne Wood, a researcher at the University of Waterloo, is to be specific and focus on the future instead of expecting something in the present to magically change for you.

“The smaller and more believable your self-talk statements are, the more likely you are to believe them — and the more likely they are to have a positive impact,” says Wood.

That’s because self-affirmation does have neurologically measurable benefits when we focus on the right things. Christopher Cascio, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, discovered that a mantra can help with three issues homeschool moms run into more often than we’d like: they push us to remember and focus on the things we enjoy and the good parts of our homeschool; they remind us that the value of what we’re doing goes beyond a particular criticism or failure; and they help us not take it personally and blame ourselves when things go counter to our expectations. 

When we talk about mantras, we’re talking about mindfulness — and at its core, mindfulness is just accepting what’s happening right now, in this moment, whether it’s what we planned, wanted, or hoped for or not.

“People have a tendency to want to evaluate our experiences and react as though we’re being graded based on them,” says Wood. This may seem like no big deal when you’re having a great homeschool day because your reaction is a positive one — everything is going great, and you’re doing well. It becomes a problem, though, on the more-frequent days that aren’t great, the days that are just okay or even kind of crummy. Because we’re judging ourselves, we end up getting detoured by negativity: We may think things like “Why is this happening to me?,” “What am I doing wrong?,” “This is a terrible day,” or “Is it always going to be so bad?” But if you can pause, take a breath, and acknowledge the reality of the moment — right now, homechooling is hard, my kids are annoying , and I wish I were doing anything else — you take the pressure off yourself to be something more or better. You’re in the moment — and being in the moment almost always makes you feel a little better about the state of your world.

The more specific your mantras are, the more effective they are—so think of these mantras as a starter set. We think you’ll find at least one that resonates with your homeschool life, but don’t stop with our suggestions. Write the ones you know you need in your particular homeschool. I may be the only mom who needs to focus on a mantra like “Right now, my son needs to do anything but read, and I’m not going to spend my energy arguing,” but that’s definitely a mantra that has gotten me through some challenging  moments in our homeschool.

I am allowed to hit pause.

Sometimes in hard moments we forget that we don’t have to keep doing something that isn’t working. Whether it’s math practice or nature walks, it’s okay to stop when something is frustrating or upsetting.

I’m going to listen to my child right now.

There are times when your best-laid homeschool plans go awry because your plans and your child’s don’t match up in a moment. In those moments, try letting go of your agenda and listening to your child.

We have plenty of time.

This is the mantra you need on the days (or weeks) where you feel like nothing’s getting done. Homeschooling isn’t a short-term game, and when you get stuck in short-term-thinking, it’s easy to feel like a failure.

I know my child.

When you’re torn between choices or faced with a tough decision, remind yourself that no one knows your child better than you — whatever decision you make will honor your child in the best way you know how.

I can ask for help if I need it.

Homeschooling is a big job, but you don’t have to do it alone. Sometimes just reminding yourself that you don’t have to do everything all by yourself can help you through a challenging situation.

This is not personal.

Remind yourself of this when your child lashes out at you, complains, argues, or otherwise acts out. It’s okay for your child to have negative feelings — it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.

I’m expecting myself to be perfect, but I shouldn’t.

Sometimes, the biggest challenges we face as homeschoolers come when we have to face our own insecurities. If you’re feeling less-than, remind yourself that you’re the only person expecting you to be perfect.

I can take a break when I need one.

Similar to hitting pause, but this one is all about you: If you’re frustrated, upset, angry, bored, or otherwise not in a good headspace, take a break. The world will not stop turning because you do.

I am learning and growing too.

Sometimes you won’t know everything you need to know in a given moment. That’s okay—just as your child is learning and growing, so are you.

This was originally published in the fall 2018 issue of HSL.

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