How to Make Volunteering Part of Your Family’s Homeschool Life
Changing the world is no easy task, even if you didn’t also have to get dinner on the table, make it to co-op classes on time, and occasionally do a little math, too. But it may not be as hard to make a difference as you might think—even when your days are already packed full.
In fact, volunteering is a lot like homeschooling when you do it right. You start with tons of options and a to-do list that could bury you, and gradually whittle down to what works best for your family and ignites a spark of interest in your child. And like a passion for good books and a non-fear of math, volunteering is something your child will benefit from now and for the rest of her life. Researchers have found that childhood volunteer service is the number-one predictor of adult volunteer service, and kids who did community service were twice as likely to continue volunteering as adults. In other words, the key to raising the kind of caring, committed kids who can change the world is to let them get an early taste of community service.
So let go of the notion that there’s a “right” way to volunteer, and open your family up to a surprisingly wide world of service opportunities. (Some of them don’t even require you to leave the house.) We’ve tried to make it as easy as possible to bring service into your homeschool life, offering hands-on suggestions for incorporating service into your routine, and helping you work through snags that can make volunteering seem a little too challenging.
Choose Your Own Adventure
“When people ask me how to get started volunteering, I always say ‘Start with something fun, and go from there,’” says Jenny Friedman, the author of The Busy Family’s Guide to Volunteering. Donating your time should be an enjoyable experience, not something that your family dreads waking up early for. Volunteer work is the most successful when it’s not a to-do but a want-to-do—and the key to achieving that is finding service that your family looks forward to. It’s okay to insist that your children try something new and important to encourage them to maintain a positive attitude whether they’re having fun or not, but pushing them to stick with community service that isn’t clicking is recipe for bad feelings. Lots of organizations need help, and it’s perfectly acceptable to try something once and move on.
“The key to raising the kind of caring, committed kids who can change the world is to let them get an early taste of community service.”
When your child is young, you’ll be the one choosing volunteer projects and bringing your child along for the ride. Take advantage of this time to show him a broad spectrum of volunteer opportunities: Push his stroller at the Women’s March on Washington, let him decorate your family’s collection box for the National Immigration Law Center and raise money to help immigrants currently in the United States, and ask him to carry a trash bag for your park’s annual clean-up day. Talk about what you’re doing and why: “Isn’t it great to clean up the park? It’s a lot of work for one person, but it’s much easier when we all work together. We’re so lucky to have this park to play in. I’m glad we can help take care of it.” By the time your child is around 10 years old, she’ll start looking at things with a critical eye. Take advantage of her increasing interest in the larger world around her to help her recognize service opportunities that she really cares about. If she asks questions about where homeless people get their food, talk to her about soup kitchens and food banks, then visit one. If she’s worried by tearjerker commercial about abandoned pets, take her to an animal shelter so she can see firsthand how abandoned animals are cared for. If she’s heartbroken studying slavery in the United States, find a Showing Up For Racial Justice meeting near you. Your child’s natural empathy starts to really kick in around this age, and she’ll get positive reinforcement through activities that let her see her impact on her community.
When your child hits his teen years, volunteer work can provide a social outlet and a skill building opportunity as well as community service. If you haven’t already made community service a habit, it’s not too late to start. Get your teen on board by making him the expert: Let him to research different volunteer opportunities for your family to try, and encourage him to think about how his skills could benefit the community. Consider joining a service organization at your church, synagogue, or community center or starting a volunteer co-op, making service into a social activity.
Every person has a cause that inspires her, says Bill Hoogterp, senior adviser to HandsOn Network, a national organization that mobilizes volunteers. Help your child find her cause, and you’ll inspire a lifelong volunteer.
Making it work
Of course, finding your child’s passion is only the first piece of the puzzle. The rest of the puzzle—finding time, energy, and an outlet for that passion—may be a little trickier.
“Finding your child’s passion is only the first piece of the puzzle. The rest of the puzzle—finding time, energy, and an outlet for that passion—may be a little trickier. ”
One of the most practical ways to make community service part of your family’s life is to put it on your calendar. Block off a section of your calendar, whether it’s one hour or a whole day, as “Make a Difference” time, and commit to sticking with it. You can set aside an hour a week, an hour a month, or an hour a year; the key is to make your volunteer time a part of your schedule, just like your next dentist appointment or your child’s piano recital. This can be a little intimidating—how do you know that you’ll have any energy to spare the last Saturday in September?—unless you shake up your notion of what service is.
It’s true that there are plenty of organizations that would be glad to get a little physical help, but think outside the warehouse when it comes to scheduling your volunteer time. Helping with feeding and cleanup at an animal shelter and sorting cans at a food bank are volunteer work, sure, but so is decorating a paper lunch bag for Meals on Wheels, cleaning up litter in your neighborhood park, or decorating a collection box for a community book drive. Once you dispel the idea that community service has to fit into a neat little box, you’ll find that filling your community service time is easy, whether you plan ahead by scheduling a delivery shift at Meals on Wheels or just break out the crayons at home to draw pictures for Color A Smile. Schedule the time, and when it rolls around, your family will have no trouble finding the best way to fill it.
Of course, service is about more than making time, and you can run into challenges that have nothing to do with programming the calendar on your iPhone. Most of these problems are rooted in our idea of what community service should be, and overcoming them is as simple (and as difficult) as adjusting our perspectives to embrace what community service can be. Consider these common roadblocks and the surprisingly simple ways to bypass them.
Service Snag: Your kids are too young to volunteer.
Solution: Look a little harder.
While plenty of organizations have age limits that make it tough for families with kids younger than sixteen to get involved, a surprising number of volunteer opportunities are family friendly, as long as you’re willing to stick by your kid’s side during volunteer time.
Service Snag: You’re a one-car family with limited mobility.
Solution: Lose the idea that you have to do volunteer work somewhere else.
You might be surprised by how many volunteer projects you can do at your own kitchen table.
Service Snag: Your schedule is all over the place, and it’s hard to do anything on a consistent basis.
Solution: Shake the notion that volunteer work has to be a major commitment or a regular gig.
“You can do a month-long volunteer vacation or an hour at your kitchen table, and either way you’re making community service a part of your life,” says Friedman.
Service Snag: Your introverted child is easily overwhelmed in crowds.
Solution: Skip the crowds.
Look for service opportunities that allow your child to do one-on-one work, like reading aloud to seniors or taking a quieter after-lunch shift at a shelter like FurKids. Your child might also bloom with service projects he can work on in his own room, like making a birthday comic for a hospital patient or making recycling posters for your co-op.
Service Snag: You tried volunteering, but it turned into a hectic, whiny mess you’re not looking forward to repeating.
Solution: Try something different.
Start with a one-time activity, like a fundraising walk or participating in a community bake sale, and keep your workload small: Volunteer to make signs or man the sign-in booth. Or focus on activities you can do at home so you can give your kids (and yourself) a break if you need one.
Service Snag: Really, even with the calendar thing, you just don’t have time to block off for volunteering right now.
Solution: Join an organization like Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, or 4-H that does the service planning for you.
Your child gets an opportunity to explore different kinds of volunteer projects; you get the space to deal with the rest of your life since someone else is doing the heavy lifting.
Once you’ve gotten over the hurdles, make time to regularly evaluate your family’s service work. Is it still enjoyable? Are you still as excited about making a difference as you were when you first started? Does your work still fit with your lifestyle? Just as your child can go from obsessing about ancient Egypt to being completely absorbed in science fiction, her volunteer interests can change. Maybe your pint-size social butterfly has blossomed into a quiet young woman, or your son’s passion for art has morphed into an interest in medicine. Just like your science curriculum, your volunteer routine can benefit from regular evaluation.
You’ll also want to make a point of following the news about organizations you support to make sure your ideals are still on the same page. Check back with charities regularly about their mission statement, funding, and volunteer needs, all of which can change over time. Encourage your kids to talk with you about their positive and negative experiences doing volunteer work, and use tough situations as a springboard for conversations about the work you’re doing and why it matters. And make a point to praise your kids for their hard work and point out tangible ways they are making a difference: “Wow, this bag you decorated looks beautiful. I bet the person who gets it will smile really big when he sees this great picture you drew,” or “Did you know five cats got adopted at today’s adoption? That’s five cats who have a home now because of your help!” Doing good is its own reward, but a little acknowledgement goes a long way, too.
Reaping the benefits
Volunteering makes the world a better place, but it can also help make you—and your child—better people, too. The benefits of community service last a lifetime.
““One is not born into the world to do everything but do something.””
Researchers looking into the role of community service in kids’ lives found that children who spent an hour or more a month volunteering were way ahead of their peers when it came to social, psychological, and intellectual development, gaining self confidence, teamwork skills, and new knowledge from their service activities. At the same time, kids who engaged in regular volunteer work were less likely to participate in dangerous activities, including early sexual experimentation and drug and alcohol use. Whether your child is walking dogs or writing birthday cards for senior citizens, he’s learning to value himself and his community.
Volunteering as a family also helps strengthen your family connections. Kids learn compassion, empathy, appreciation, and community responsibility through service, all qualities that can make your home a happier place. Your homeschool community expands to include more people and new ideas, always a benefit for personal and family enrichment. And volunteer work opens the door for important conversations about social issues, beliefs, and attitudes. It’s just what everyone is always saying: Volunteer work benefits the doer as much as it does the recipient.
So let go of the notion that volunteering has to take a certain form, and embrace the possibilities to make service part of your everyday life. When faced with the almost insurmountable challenges of life in mid-nineteenth century America, the philosopher Henry David Thoreau wrote “One is not born into the world to do everything but do something.” Heed his advice, and don’t try to do everything. Just do something. Chances are good you’ll be glad you did.
This article was originally published in the winter 2017 issue of HSL.
We recently found a homeschool group that my kids love. The problem: The moms are super clique-y and not very nice. Is it worth continuing in a group where I’m miserable, even if my kids are happy with it?