The HSL Guide to Finding Your Homeschool Style
Your homeschool style isn’t exactly a philosophy, a method, or an academic approach, but understanding it can be the key to a successful homeschool. What kind of secular homeschool parent are you?
Homeschoolers talk a lot about homeschool philosophies and methods, but it’s your homeschool style that really shapes your family’s secular homeschool.
There are as many homeschool styles as there are people, which is why your homeschool doesn’t look exactly like anyone else’s. Hand any homeschooler a shiny new book or math game and say. “Come back in a month and tell me what you did with that,” and the answers you’d get back would be totally different.
Some people might have read the book together, others might have used it to launch a unit study, and a few might have created activity sheets around it. All of these approaches are totally valid.
Whatever choice you made, you probably wouldn’t be thinking too hard about your homeschool philosophy or your curriculum — you’d be thinking about whatever was happening in your particular homeschool at the time I handed you the book. That’s why understanding your homeschool style can be so helpful — knowing how you approach homeschooling can help you make better, smarter choices for your homeschool, both in the moment and in the long term.
Your homeschool style isn’t something you can use a formula to figure out. There’s no quick and easy quiz that will tell you what kind of homeschooler you are. Instead, it’s something you come to learn through self-exploration and reflection. Your homeschool style may change over time; it may also not match up to the vision of yourself as a homeschool parent you have in your head.
To get to the root of your homeschool style, start by thinking about your life in any context unrelated to homeschooling. When you get together with a group of friends, do you make the plans — or do you go with the flow of what everyone else decides? When you children were toddlers, did you plan your days around their nap time, or were you more likely to be spontaneous? What’s your negotiating style? What does your perfect lazy afternoon look like? What are your strengths? Your weaknesses?
The point is not what you think you should do or what you’d like to do — that data can be handy for lots of things, but your homeschool style is all about the way you normally approach your everyday life. Skip the “should” and the “ought to”s, and just focus on how you actually deal with everything. How do you exercise? What’s your meal planning strategy? How do you write a grocery list? How do you interact with your family and friends? What about with strangers? Are you good at letting go of control, or do you need a master list for every project? The more you pay attention to yourself — something that can definitely end up on the back burner for a busy parent — the more you’ll understand your natural homeschool style.
And the more you understand your homeschool style, the better you can determine how to build a homeschool that really works. Are you spending your homeschool budget on the things that fulfill you and bring you joy? Are your homeschool resources appropriate for your personality? Are you prioritizing resources and activities that align with your passions and beliefs? When challenges pop up and homeschooling gets hard, how do you respond and react? How can you minimize stress and maximize happiness in your homeschool? It’s your homeschool style that points the way.
Though there are dozens of homeschool styles, most people fall under one of four big umbrellas. (We’ve named them the Dude, the Metronome, the Ocean, and the Magpie.) All four of these styles can be the foundation of a happy, successful homeschool — you just have to trust yourself.
Quick Question: How do you usually plan your homeschool weeks mid-year?
Don’t think about the planning you do in the summer but the week-to-week planning you do (or not!) every weekend.
If: You like to look back on what you accomplished each week instead of planning every day in advance.
You’re probably a: DUDE
If: There are weeks where you plan everything out and weeks where you just sit back and let your kids lead the way.
You’re probably an: OCEAN
If: You enjoy making plans for next year’s homeschool more than checking off your to-do lists for this week.
You’re probably a: MAGPIE
If: Once you get your daily rhythm down, your schedule takes care of itself.
You’re probably a: METRONOME
Homeschool Style: THE DUDE
Dudes set their own pace for homeschooling. They rely on rhythm and routine more than schedules and curriculum to guide their homeschool, and they tend to keep going until they are finished with whatever they are working on.
YOU MIGHT BE A DUDE IF:
You homeschool year-round.
You track what you’ve accomplished each day instead of planning days in advance.
Your day is anchored by a series of specific rituals.
You usually finish your curriculum or unit study, even if it takes you across multiple years.
You store your homeschool materials in plain sight.
You tend to try new crafts and activities with your kids.
You do a lot of homeschooling in your pajamas.
If you’re a Dude homeschooler, you probably spend a lot of time in your pajamas. Dude homeschoolers embrace the relaxed possibilities of homeschooling — they usually lean into academics, but they prefer to dive deep and slow rather than to try to get to a finish line. They rarely work at tables or desks, preferring to set up on the couch, the deck, the floor, or even in bed. Their homeschool routine looks the same most days, and most days of the year are homeschool days. They’ll often continue activities like readalouds or nature journals even when their homeschool is officially “on vacation” because they tend to see homeschooling and parenting as intricately connected projects. They tend to be patient and optimistic, willing to give their students time and space when they seem to need it.
“Dudes like the freedom of slowing down and speeding up as the mood takes them.”
Dude homeschoolers are relaxed planners. They tend to start and finish curriculum at different times instead of starting a year with a stack of new curriculum, so they’re rarely in hyper-curriculum-shopping mode. They spend time finding a rhythm for their days and tend to stick with it, even as their kids get older and move into more independent work. They’re more likely to keep up with what they’re accomplishing as they go instead of trying to plan out every week in advance — they like the freedom of slowing down and speeding up as the mood takes them. Dude homeschoolers gravitate toward homeschool philosophies that rely on rhythms and repetition, like Classical or Waldorf homeschooling, but Dude homeschoolers can adapt any homeschool philosophy to their relaxed vibe.
Dude homeschoolers value harmony and community, so they may find it challenging when their students push back or resist deadlines. While following directions and hitting due dates might not be important in your everyday homeschool, they are important skills that students need to learn before they graduate from high school, so Dudes need to find ways to enforce some standards. Students need the experience of following through and finishing projects, and Dude homeschools may need to add more structure to support procrastinators and students who need scaffolding for executive function skills. It’s important not to always prioritize harmony over academic success.
A few other things for Dude homeschoolers to keep in mind:
Don’t be afraid to let stuff go. Dudes tend to hold onto student work, books, curriculum, and other homeschool resources. It’s fine to save stuff, but some people have a hard time tossing old homeschool materials because they’re afraid of the loss — or too nervous to commit to a permanent decision,” says Susan Bartell, PsyD.
Buy supplies that inspire you. It’s worth it to spend money on the fancy pens and notebooks you love since you’ll be spending a lot of time with them. A basket or envelope system that lets you collect important stuff as you go to sort later will help keep you feeling efficient without making you feel rushed.
Take some risks. Dudes can tend to be homebodies, which is fine — but give your kids the opportunity to participate in social activities with other kids sometimes, too. “Pick one day a week or a couple of days a month as your designated Out And About Days, and work on making them part of your routine,” says Timothy Pychyl, PhD.
Say no. Dudes can be people pleasers, especially when it comes to their kids. It’s OK to say there’s no space for a karate class right now or that you really do have to clean up your science project before you go to the park. You’re also allowed to tell your kids you need a break or you’d like them to stop teasing you about something — being a supportive parent doesn’t mean never putting yourself and your needs first.
Delegate sometimes. Dudes tend to be mostly DIY homeschoolers, but it’s good for students to experience learning from other teachers. Look for opportunities every year for your kids to learn outside your home, whether it’s a one-day workshop or a semester-long class.
Homeschool Style: THE OCEAN
Oceans homeschool in cycles: Sometimes, they’re focused, organized, and hands-on; other times, they relax into a routine that’s largely student led. These cycles come and go naturally, so your homeschool may look very different from one season to the next.
YOU MIGHT BE AN OCEAN IF:
You have found a few curriculums that work well for you, but you don’t necessarily use them all the time.
You do a lot of planning some years and not much planning other years.
You usually go into planning with a specific list of things you want to look for or accomplish.
There are times when you go to the library twice a week and other times when you don’t go for months at a time.
You generally have a few outside activities that you stick to from year to year.
You sometimes rely heavily on your planner and sometimes don’t keep one.
You have holiday routines that your family looks forward to all year.
You enjoy planning vacations and other travel far in advance of your trip.
Your bookshelves have books and materials for several different years and subjects.
Ocean homeschoolers move from high-intensity to low-intensity homeschooling. Sometimes, their homeschool will change from month to month to month or week to week; other times, they may be high- or low-intensity for a year or more. Sometimes your homeschool intensity may be determined by your kids — they need a slower pace, or there’s somewhere they need to grow. Other times, it may be determined by life, your mood, or even the weather.
“During high-intensity times, ocean homeschoolers will lean heavily on schedules and planners; during lower intensity times, they may do little or no record keeping. ”
Ocean homeschoolers usually plan each year in advance, but they let the weeks happen as they happen. During high-intensity times, they might plot out every week. Ocean homeschoolers can follow any homeschool philosophy, but they often lean into an unschool or project-based approach during their slower times. During more focused times, they rely on more structured philosophies, which often change over time. Their organization process tends to follow the same rise and fall pattern: During high-intensity times, ocean homeschoolers will lean heavily on schedules and planners; during lower intensity times, they may do little or no record keeping. Activities and outside classes tend to pick up during low-intensity times, and high-intensity periods may mean little to no outside activities to make room for hands-on learning at home. Ocean homeschoolers may ease gradually from one mode to the other, or they may wake up one day and find themselves ready for a different mode with no warning at all.
The challenge for Ocean homeschoolers is in knowing when you’ve entered a natural low-intensity phase and when your homeschool is hitting a bumpy patch. Your feelings will be a good indicator for this: If you feel bored and frustrated, like you’re not getting anything accomplished, it’s a sign your homeschool may need a little TLC; if your low-intensity periods feel peaceful and productive, it’s a sign you’re in a normal homeschool cycle.
These tips can help you make the most of your Ocean homeschool:
Stay organized. You can’t always predict when you’ll speed up or slow down, so keeping records is essential so that when you’re ready to return to something, you know where to start.
Keep lists for life stuff and school stuff. If you keep running lists of things you want to get to, it will be easy to pick up projects when you enter that phase, says Melissa Maker, organization expert.
Keep important dates on the calendar. Time-sensitive projects, like AP exams or summer camp, may require high-intensity you during a low-intensity mode, so keeping them on your radar can significantly reduce your overall stress.
Be aware of down time. When your high-intensity mode powers on for several months, you may need to block off time for a break, even if you would normally just keep going. “A week off every three months is a good rule of thumb for most families,” says Amy Johnson, PhD.
Homeschool Style: THE MAGPIE
For the Magpie, planning the next thing is always more exciting than the thing you’re doing right now. This isn’t inherently a bad thing — that excitement and energy keeps your homeschool moving forward. Magpies need a steady injection of new ideas to feel fulfilled in their homeschool lives.
YOU MIGHT BE A MAGPIE IF:
You are constantly researching new curricula.
You spend a lot of time planning your homeschool but rarely follow through on your plans for more than a few months.
You love finding programs and classes that last for a few weeks.
You spend a lot of time looking for homeschool ideas on forums and in groups.
You’ve gone through several different homeschool styles over the years.
You have accumulated several different homeschool resources that you’ve never used.
You love field trips and homeschool travel.
You get bored doing the same thing day after day.
Magpie homeschoolers always have their eyes on the horizon. They’re less interested in the everyday than in the big picture. They’re always willing to try something new — a new curriculum, a new homeschool philosophy, a new routine. As long as they stay busy, they’re happy and enthusiastic, but too much routine drags them down. Magpies love buying curriculum but rarely finish a curriculum — knowing this, it makes sense to shop second-hand and buy curriculum in the smallest increments instead of giant packages to see how well it works for you. Magpies are great at living in the moment, embracing spontaneous field trips and rabbit trails with enthusiasm and following their kids’ interests wherever they lead. Magpie homeschooler are always ready to change directions and scrap things that aren’t working, which means they can constantly tailor their learning plan to their particular students.
“Magpies are great at living in the moment, embracing spontaneous field trips and rabbit trails with enthusiasm and following their kids’ interests wherever they lead.”
Magpie homeschoolers can thrive with almost any homeschool philosophy — and will probably test-drive most of them at least once. Unit studies and project-based learning are natural matches for the Magpie’s ongoing desire to start something new. Magpies love planning their calendars, but often shift gears dramatically as the year progresses — sticky notes and Trello boards make it easy to move things around and delete things that are no longer relevant from your planner. Magpie homeschoolers are always keeping an eye out for fun new additions to their homeschool, whether it’s a budding local homeschool group or a new history curriculum. They love sharing ideas — you’ll find lots of Magpies in homeschool chats, asking for recommendations and sharing things that worked in their homeschools.
The challenge for Magpies is in following through. Their early hyper-organization often falls apart after a few months, and even curriculum that works well for their particular kids might not hold their interests long enough for them to finish it. There’s no intrinsic value in finishing a curriculum — plenty of traditional schools don’t finish their curriculum every year — but there is real value in feeling finished. Sometimes magpies can get so focused on the next thing that they forget that kids benefit from the feeling of completion. Find ways to mark beginnings and endings so that your students can feel successful — and don’t get so focused on the future that you forget to lean into the things that are making your homeschool happy right now.
Magpies often thrive on the flexibility and freedom of homeschool life, and keeping these tips in mind can help you make the most of your homeschool:
Plan quarters instead of the year. This gives you the opportunity to recharge your homeschool four times a year instead of just over the summer and means that researching new stuff for your homeschool is always relevant.
Pay attention to what’s working. Shiny new curriculum can be hard to resist, but if you have a math curriculum that’s been working great for your kids or a science class that everyone loves, resist the urge to change for the sake of changing.
Keep a list of goals for the year. When you’re busy homeschool planning, jot down the three or four big accomplishments you’re aiming for this year — mastery of multiplication, essay writing, making friends, whatever your particular homeschool goals happen to be. This gives you a touchstone to check back in with, even if your everyday plans change.
Check your motives. “Homeschooling lets you give into what feels good in the moment — when you’re scheduling lessons and activities, it feel like you have control,” says Timothy Pychyl, PhD. That’s great, as long as you’re not using homeschool planning as an excuse to avoid something else you need to do. When you find yourself in hyper planning mode, do a quick self-check to make sure you’re not putting something you don’t want to do on the back burner.
Set deadlines. Magpies can get so engrossed in researching and tracking down resources that they never get started. “Pick a due date for buying or one subject at a time to focus on so that you’re not always in research mode and never in doing mode, says organization expert Linda Cobb.
Give opportunities for evaluation. If you know you have a tendency to not finish classes or curriculum, look for a few outside classes or activities where your kids can have other teachers rate their performance. Students will get the satisfaction of finishing something, and you’ll still have the freedom to follow your inner compass where it points you.
Homeschool Style: THE METRONOME
Metronomes are naturally organized. Organization doesn’t look the same way for everyone: Some metronomes have messy houses, but their routine runs like a well-oiled machine. They thrive on consistency and schedules. They like rules and checklists and knowing “what’s next.” They like clear parameters and guidelines.
YOU MIGHT BE A METRONOME IF:
You get grumpy or frustrated when your routine gets interrupted.
You prefer a curriculum that plans things out by the day or the week.
You mostly wake up and go to bed at the same time even when you’re on vacation.
You make your grocery lists following the store layout.
You have a specific spot for storing your holiday decorations.
You have an “order of things” that you usually follow.
You fold and sort your laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer.
You keep track of birthdays without relying on Facebook.
You tend to do quick chores or activities when you have unexpected free time.
If you’re a metronome homeschooler, your daily schedule is the most important tool in your arsenal. You can’t relax unless you have a rhythm to relax into, so finding your homeschool rhythm is more important than finding the right curriculum. In fact, you might be wasting your money if you go curriculum shopping or start signing up for classes before you find the rhythm that works for your homeschool. Spend time just getting to know your routine — do you do better getting things started right after breakfast, or is early afternoon your most productive time? Do you need to have a clean sink before you start homeschooling? How long does it take you to get everything tidied back up at the end of the day? Homeschooling is different from just parenting, so if you’re a new homeschooler, you may find that your routine needs revamping to include at-home learning time. Giving this kind of space won’t feel natural, but the more room you can give your routine to settle around you, the more likely you are to find a routine that works well for your family.
“Metronome homeschoolers may or may not use a planner, but they definitely have a plan.”
Metronome homeschoolers can do well with most homeschool methods, including unschooling, as long as they feel like their days have a consistent structure, but metronomes are often drawn to methods that have small daily to-do lists, like Montessori or Charlotte Mason. Metronome homeschoolers may or may not use a planner, but they definitely have a plan. Metronomes enjoy planning holidays and time off at the beginning of each year, and they mostly stick to their beginning-of-the-year schedules. They’ll read books and do research so that they feel like they’re working from specific instructions. And while they may be neat or messy, metronomes prefer to be organized in a way that makes sense to them. Metronome organization may show up as binders, tabs, and file folders, or it may be a tottering pile, but it’s easy for them to find exactly what they need.
The big challenge of being a metronome homeschooler is that there is no outside authority to stamp your annual homeschool report with “Good job,” which means metronomes can be overly critical of themselves and spend a lot of time analyzing and overanalyzing their homeschool. Learning to trust yourself is an essential piece of your homeschool journey. So is learning how to embrace the places where things go wrong: Sometimes, metronomes can stick with curriculum or methods that aren’t working because they don’t want to be wrong, so getting comfortable viewing failure as part of forward momentum is an important skill for metronomes to master.
Metronomes are usually happy, successful homeschoolers — just keep these things in mind:
Make finding your rhythm a priority. Your homeschool will feel successful if you’re crossing things off your to-do list, but a too-rigid routine will make you feel like you’re always missing something. Focus on a rhythm instead so that you can adjust your schedule as you need to.
Be willing to compromise. Your schedule is important to you, but your kids may need you to be flexible sometimes. Don’t let your need for order and routine keep you from supporting your kids in the ways they need you to.
Give positive feedback. A lot of metronomes tend toward perfectionism, which means you may be too hard on yourself and your kids. Your expectations are high, and you meet them often! But it’s important to recognize growth and effort, not just getting the right answer, so make sure you’re finding opportunities to tell your kids — and yourself — what’s going well.
Try using a timer. If you have trouble transitioning between activities because there’s always “one more thing to do,” a 7-minute timer can be your best friend. Set it when you’re ready to wind up a subject, you need a quick clean-up blitz between activities, or you need to get everyone ready for park day.
Set clear priorities each year. Your steady pace means that your days usually feel successful, but you may feel less confident when it comes time to evaluate your year. Make this easier by starting each year with a short, concrete list of goals so that you know what you’re working toward in the long-term as well as in the everyday. This way, you’ll get daily satisfaction and the satisfaction that comes with feeling “finished,” says Susan Bartell, PsyD.
Keep a master checklist. Believe it or not, metronomes can get so caught up in the details that they lose sight of the bigger picture, says organization expert Linda Cobb. “When you find a window of time, consult your master checklist before diving into a project or activity. This way you’re steadily making progress toward your goals.”
Be deliberate about scheduling downtime. Metronomes sometimes keep going because they’re afraid to slow down, says Bartell. “Some people are afraid they’ll be judged if they relax, so they feel like they have to prove that they’re not wasting any time. But everyone needs space to unwind.”
